


Blue.

by softkjy



Series: breaking up [3]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-05 20:39:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11585766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softkjy/pseuds/softkjy
Summary: Seunghyun is tired of Jiyongs clingyness and constant affection.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING; Seunghyun is MEAN and emotionally abusive to Jiyong in this chapter.

Seunghyun walked into his and Jiyongs condo with a long sigh, rubbing his eyes before he plopped onto his sofa just trying to relax before Jiyong realized he was home. 

He was so sick of the orange haired man. It's not that Jiyong wasn't kind, affectionate, tentative...it's that he was all those things. To the extreme. He was a major clinger and constantly wanted Seunghyuns praise or approval. He insisted on staying home every day to make sure the home was spotless, their affairs were in order, and therewas a homemade meal waiting when Seunghyun arrived. This was just so annoying to the 24 year old, he hated the way Jiyong was so happy to take on the weak and submissive housewife roll. Sure, the sex was amazing, but was it worth it?

"Tabi! You're home, why didn't you tell me!" Jiyong straight away, hugged his boyfriend from behind and gave him a loving kiss. "I missed you all day baby. You didn't answer my texts, I wanted to see how you were. Also, I organized our closet! You should see-" 

"Jiyong could you be quiet? I just got off work." 

The younger, shut up immediately and nodded as he slunk away. "Yeah. Sorry babe.." he answered quietly, trying not to be annoying. "Dinner is ready when you are, I-just let me know and I will serve you." He insisted, going into the kitchen to sit and wait with his dinner for Seunghyun to come eat. 

The older man sighed, going to eat with Jiyong meant sitting and talking to the 20 year old and that just sounded terrible. 

With that in mind, he got up and trudged to the stairs that led to their shared bedroom. "Not hungry, just go ahead and throw it out." He insisted as he walked by Jiyong who deflated at that. He'd worked so hard on the dinner for it to just be rejected.  
The orange haired man sighed and looked down, feeling disappointed in himself as he got up to clean his mess not bothering to eat. He hated how Seunghyun never complemented his meals or the tasks he did anymore. Lately it's just been so much worse. The older man doesn't even pretend to be proud of him or happy for him, he just grunts or tells him to shut up. 

Once Jiyong cleaned the whole kitchen, saving a plate of the dinner just in case Seunghyun got hungry, he went to their room where his boyfriend was already in bed. 

The younger went to change, smiling softly in admiration to Seunghyuns beauty before he climbed into bed. "Goodnight baby," he said slipping an arm around his partner. "I love you.." he bit his lip, his heart cracking slightly as Seunghyun just nudged his arm off him in response telling him goodnight. 

Jiyong swallowed and closed his eyes, vowing to try harder until his boyfriend was happy with him again. 

~

The next few weeks were practically hell for Seunghyun. Jiyong was constantly asking his approval and if he liked this or that. 

_"Tabi I rearranged the furniture. It took me all day. Do you like it?"_

_"Baby, I made your favorite!"_

_"Seungyunnie I got us tickets to the art gala in town! It will be so much fun!"_

It wasn't bad stuff, the other obviously wasn't trying to do any harm but he was just so damn annoying. 

And then he's constantly texting Seunghyun, the older just put his boyfriend on do not disturb while he was at work deciding that was what was for the best. 

When he got home, he noticed things were different. Almost all of his paintings were moved around and not the same. "What in the hell.." he grumbled as he looked around, trying to find all the pieces he'd hand picked specifically for their meaning. "Jiyong!" He called, the orange haired rushing to him excitedly when he heard his voice. 

"You're home! Well? Do you love it?? Also, I made your favorite for dinner again!"

"What the hell is this? Where are all my paintings?!"

Jiyong frowned, closing in on himself slightly as he realized that Seunghyun was angry with him. "I-i got you new ones, I picked them out myself, I thought you'd like them-" he explained weakly. 

"Why would you do that! I chose the paintings I had up for a reason! I don't want just some shitty random art that you think is decent enough for my walls!" Seunghyun snapped, making his boyfriend tear up immediately. 

"I thought you would like them, they were really expensive, I can-I can take them back...your old paintings are just put away we can just put them back," Jiyong insisted, trying to keep a brave face while his heart was breaking.  
"Why would you-god you are so annoying! This is exactly why I've been pushing away because you do stupid shit like this and then you get upset at me for not being happy about it," Seunghyun snapped as he paced angrily, not even knowing why he was so pissed off. Jiyong hung his head as his boyfriend ranted, crossings his arms over his chest as he kept his eye contact with the floor; feeling pathetic. He hated how disappointed his boyfriend constantly was with him, he was just doing his best to keep Seunghyun happy so he wouldn't break up with him. 

"I-I tried texting you to see which you liked but you ignored me. I'm sorry, I'll put everything back the way it was. You just go eat and relax okay baby? I'll fix it." The younger male told Seunghyun gently and rubbed a hand on his lower back, calming him. "Fine.." the brunette grumbled and went to the kitchen, sitting to eat-alone. 

Jiyong sighed out shakily and got to work, getting down all the large paintings he'd bought for Seunghyun with the credit cards his dad gave him. He nearly maxed them all out. He just sighed, realizing he could return the paintings and get his dads money back. "It's okay, he loves you. He wants you around. He would've left you by now if he didn't love you." The 20 year old thought to himself, terrified of losing Seunghyun. They'd been together 2 years already and the older man was his first. He couldn't bare the though of losing the love of his life who hardly seemed interested anymore. 

By the time Jiyong had finished putting everything back where it belonged, it was almost 2 am. He sighed softly and went to bed, keeping his distance from his boyfriend. 

~ 

Jiyong frowned as he felt how cold the bed was, knowing that Seunghyun didn't work weekends. So why was the bed cold in his spot?  
He quickly opened his eyes and looked around, seeing the room was empty. "What the heck," he sighed, getting up to look for his love. "Tabi? You up?" He called, yet to find out that Seunghyuns drawers and side of the closet were cleaned out. 

"Baby??" 

Jiyong reached the downstairs, finding a rose on the table which made him smile. He happily picked it up and have it a sniff before he looked at the card that was laying under it. What was written broke his heart into a million pieces, he felt like his heart stopped beating, no words could comfort him, his heart was dyed blue.  
"No, please no," the orange haired man sobbed, running up to check their room finding it empty like he'd feared in his worst nightmares. He couldn't believe it, after all he did to make the older man happy, Seunghyun had left him. And couldn't even do it to his face. 

_im sorry. i can't do it anymore._

Seven words scribbled onto a tiny card was all that Seunghyun thought Jiyong was worth, which hurt the most. He didn't even care to tell him in person or to give him a chance to change. The younger thought he was doing well, he thought that doing everything he'd done For Seunghyun was what everyone did. He loved his boyfriend more than anything.  
He would do anything for Seunghyun, even die for him. 

He was born and he met Seunghyun. 

Without Seunghyun, he was nothing. 

He was **blue**.


	2. my cold heart has been dyed blue

Jiyong was sensitive, as if that weren't obvious. All his life, after the age of 10, he was spoiled by his adoptive parents but he couldn't help but have abandonment issues. 

He was a happy child, not too clingy, not too to himself. That wasn't enough for his actual parents apparently. One day they just took him to the local orphanage and told him to get out of the car, a small bag with his clothes. Nothing else, that was the day he began looking for affections and someone to constantly validate his feelings. 

Throughout school, he was always happy and quite popular. He had lots of friends that were there during the school day but not so much after. Finally, when going to university, he met the love of his life; Choi Seunghyun. The senior was strong and kind and his first. Seunghyun lured Jiyong in with his charms and talked him into having sex right away, the younger taking this as they were in love. 

__

_Jiyong rolled over and cuddled into Seunghyuns chest, smiling lightly. They'd been seeing each other for about a month now and the older had finally talked Ji into having sex which he was totally shy about._

_"I love you Seunghyunnie.."_

_"Mmm love you too baby."_

_Jiyong smiled, looking at the senior as if he was the entire world. He was, to Jiyong. The first year sighed happily and laid his head on Seunghyuns chest, honestly feeling so loved.  
Seunghyun wasn't an animal, he did like Jiyong. He just didn't see an entire future with the boy. He really felt that if the teen was gonna make him work this hard for a lay, he might as well enjoy the ride. And he did, most of the time. As of right now, Jiyong was not being suffocating. He was just being affectionate which is understandable, especially from a younger boy who'd never had a boyfriend let alone had sex with anyone. _

_"I'll see you in the morning babe." Seunghyun hummed and kissed jiyongs head, falling asleep shortly after._

__

As the months went by, Seunghyun began to find his boyfriend almost intolerable at times. Of course, it wasn't all bad. Jiyong had a wonderful personality and a banging body, just too much of him for long periods a time was a little him. Especially with him being pretty introverted himself. 

By the time Jiyong finished with his small degree, Seunghyun was already working in an office with an easy job that made him lots of money for his hobby of collecting wonderful arts. 

He was fortunate enough to be blessed with money and a boyfriend that came from money. 

Jiyongs parents were kind enough to gift them the villa they stayed at together and insisted they'd pay anything their son needed if he didn't want to work which he didn't. He gladly stayed at home to clean and cook for his boyfriend every day-thinking that's what he wanted. 

After another year or so, Seunghyun just didn't care anymore. If Jiyong annoyed him, he told him so. And if he didn't want the smaller around him, he said so. This obviously took a toll on his boyfriends mental health not that he noticed.   
The way Seunghyun pushed away hurt Jiyong so much but it pushed him to try to do better. He cleaned more, cooked better, tried harder. 

_  
Seunghyun came home and threw his things aside, going right to the kitchen for some wine. _

_Jiyong smiled as his boyfriend came in. "Welcome home babe. Dinner is just finishing up, you're home kind of early," he said softly and went to kiss Seunghyun, the older moving his mouth to receive it on his cheek._

_"I've had a long day."_

_"Alright, how about I give you a back rub after dinner? That usually puts you at ease. You work so hard, you deserve a break. "_

_"Why don't you just not talk the rest of the night? You're what I'd like a break from the most."_

_Jiyong blinked and looked down, nodding then. "O-okay. I'm sorry baby, I don't mean to annoy you." He said softly before he went quiet again, serving his boyfriend a plate before he ate as well trying to keep as quiet as possible. He was used to these kinds of nights. He'd just hoped today would be a day where he came home and was actually kind of nice; where he at least pretended to give a shit about his boyfriend. Jiyong really hated when Seunghyun got annoyed by him, he'd do anything to make his love happy._

__

Fast forward to present day, every day Jiyong feared that Seunghyun will finally leave him. And this morning it had happened. 

God he's so stupid. 

why didn't you just leave it? Why are you so fucking stupid? 

No wonder your parents didn't want you 

Who would want you? 

stupid, clingy bastard 

Jiyong whimpered at the thoughts in his mind as he curled up in his empty bed, crying. He'd ruined his relationship after trying so hard to save it.   
No matter what he did, he was still a fuck up and a disgrace. He'd given everything to Seunghyun, his life, his love, his virginity. He did everything he could to make the older happy and he was still unwanted. Of course, who would want a pathetic bastard like him? He's just clingy and annoying, so fucking annoying. 

Jiyong couldn't help but cringe at the things he'd do and say, which actually weren't bad at all. They just seemed bad by the way his boyfriend reacted to them. 

~

A few weeks later, Jiyong is still miserable and begging Seunghyun to take him back. 

He decided he should start cleaning the house just in case his love changed his mind. So, Jiyong got himself dressed decently before he headed out. First, he went to return the pieces of art he'd stupidly bought for Seunghyun. Which were a waste. 

"Oh, gotta watch out. Those things are bigger than you." 

A brunette smiled as he held the door open for Jiyong. The orange haired smiled gently and blushed, having almost knocked into the other on his way in. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you," he said softly and the brunette who was his height if not shorter, but much stronger, helped him carry the art into the building. 

"It's no problem, what are you doing bringing these pieces back anyways?"

"I-I got them as a present for my um my ex.." 

"Ex? These are pretty recent paintings. Did you guys just break up?"

Jiyong frowned deeply and looked down, biting his lip slowly tears filling his eyes at the question. 

"Oh shit. I'm sorry, I am so stupid for asking. Please don't cry," the brunette said quickly when he realized how sore the wound probably was. 

"It's..it's okay, I should get over it. Besides, I think he wants to take me back soon," Jiyong forced a smile, trying to keep positive. "I'm Jiyong," he said eventually, realizing he had a solid conversation with this stranger without an introduction. 

"I'm Youngbae, it's nice to meet you. And just so you know, any guy that is stupid enough to break up with a sight like you in the first place probably doesn't deserve you." 

Jiyong blushed, that being the sweetest thing he'd heard in such a long while. 

"Th-thank you..I- um. You don't have to be so nice," he insisted shyly, not believing this handsome brunette was saying that for any reason other than he felt bad for him. "Thank you for helping me too. Means a lot," he added, dragging the paintings to the office where he would speak to the director to take them back. 

Youngbae smiled lightly and nodded, just giving the thinner boy a wave. He was about to finish his way out, when he heard Jiyong trying desperately to give the paintings back insisting he'd maxed out all his fathers credit cards to buy them. "Ah hey, come on Dae..you know you won't have a hard time selling them again. We just had someone asking about this one the other day." He stepped in, pointing to one of the pieces. 

The muscular man huffed lightly but gave a nod. "Fine. But I won't take full price. 85%"

Jiyong nodded, "okay! That's okay, my dad won't murder me that way," he said quickly, giving Daesung the cards he'd used for the refund.

"Thank you, again.." he smiled, he smiled at Youngbae. "You work here?" 

"Yeah, part time. That turd in there is one of my closest friends." 

Jiyong giggled a bit and smiled, "thank you for talking to him. Would've been a nightmare to have these paintings. They contributed to the end of my relationship," he said and frowned a bit. 

"How so?" Youngbae was nosey. 

"I thought I would surprise my boyfriend. But, he hated them. I thought if I took them all down and put his art back i he would be fine. But, I'm a bit of a fool." He sighed. 

"Your boyfriend sounds like a dick if I'm honest. Don't take him back," 

Jiyong blinked, "he's not, he..he was sweet sometimes..." he said, never really seeing the abusive ways of his ex boyfriend. He didn't know there was any other kind of abuse than physical. 

"Sometimes?" 

"Yeah.."

Youngbae chuckled, "I think you deserve someone who is sweet to you all the time." He insisted and pulled out his phone opening the keypad. "Put your number in, I'll show you how a real boyfriend is supposed to act." 

~

Seunghyun didn't realize how much he under-appreciated Jiyong until months later, when he decided to stalk his ex boyfriends social media. 

Jiyong had deleted most of the photos with Seunghyun, only leaving up significant moments they'd happened to share together. Most of the pictures were replaced with some another guy, who cares what his name is. 

There was a picture of what's his face in a pink sweater sitting and eating dinner at what looked like Jiyongs parents place, with a caption under it that made Seunghyun toll his eyes. 

i smile every day because of you, you taught me about true love, kindness, and happiness♡ 

So Jiyong was just going to act like they weren't together two years, and like he wasn't just doting on Seunghyun every second like 6 months ago? The older huffed, continuing to scroll through the Instagram seeing many posts of Jiyong with youngbae and their friends-new to Jiyong. This guy was even introducing Ji to all his friends? Whatever, Seunghyuns friends were too mature for the younger man anyways that's why he never bothered. 

The ravenette decided to stalk Youngbae's page next, knowing that Jiyong had to be posting about their relationship more than he was. 

Ok he was wrong. 

There were plenty of posts of the couple together, along with pictures of him performing but the caption always had to do with Jiyong. 

The most recent post was from today, of Jiyong sleeping. His ex was a brunette as well now, looking natural and beautiful as ever. 

the best part of waking up is the fact i get to do it next to this beautiful man 

It was so cute and annoying, it was almost like youngbae knew Seunghyun would be looking at his page and was being this extra on purpose. But no, he was just being as affectionate as his boyfriend and showing him his worth. There was literally no point in making Jiyong feel bad for loving him more than anything, Seunghyun realized. It was kind of sad looking back at it, he hadn't had to delete hardly anything from his social media. He never really posted about his boyfriend which was kind of sad since Jiyong was constantly uploading pictures of him or them together talking about howbin love he was. 

Now he's doing that with someone else. 

It's fine. It's only a matter of time before that guy gets annoyed and Jiyong is alone again, just like him. 

~

The next time Seunghyun saw Jiyong, he was looking for more pieces to add to his apartment in the same gallery that his ex was now working at.   
Jiyong had gotten much closer to daesung with the help of youngbae and the three were kind of best friends. Naturally, since the second youngest of the three was there all the time anyways helping Youngbae and Daesung for free, the youngest offered him a job there. 

"Excuse me, id like to buy this piece," 

Seunghyun walked up to a small thin brunette taking the stand down for a painting that had been sold, not expecting to see his ex there at all. 

Jiyong turned, his smile fading when he saw the older black haired man standing there. "What piece was it?" He questioned, trying to keep his cool as he followed Seunghyun back to the painting. "Oh. This artist is very popular," he commented, pulling out his little booklet to see if it was sold or not. 

"You work here??"

"Yup." 

"I thought you didn't want to work."

"Yeah well my..boyfriends best friend inherited it form his grandfather and he needs help keeping it up.."

Seunghyun chuckled that his ex had hesitated to bring up his boyfriend. "You don't have to avoid talking about your boyfriend. I couldn't care less if you were dating someone or not." 

Jiyong nodded, feeling a lump build up in his throat. "Yeah, it had been quite a while since we broke up..how have you been?" He asked trying to keep the mood light. 

"I've been fine. I moved in a new apartment. Put all my art up, I've just been looking for more to add."

"Oh that's nice. I had to get out of the one my dad got for us. I've been moved in with youngbae for a couple months now," Jiyong began, a smile on his face now as he thought of his boyfriend. 

Seunghyun raised a brow, "we haven't even been broken up a ear and you're already moving in with someone else? What are you doing different? I'm surprised he doesn't find you insufferable by now." Where did that come from?? Why was he trying to hurt his ex who seemed so damn happy now? The older realized he was being selfish by being this way, but couldn't just take it back now. 

"Youngbae is different than you, you were and still are an abusive asshole." Jiyong said, finally speaking up for himself. 

"Abusive? I never laid a finger on you!"

"Mentally abusive! You made me feel like shit all the time!"

"Maybe you shouldn't be so annoying! You don't think your precious youngbae finds you annoying? Yeah right, I see your Instagram! You post like every 5 minutes about him and it's freaky, you're weird and clingy! It's only a matter of time before he realizes what a mistake he's made and leave too!" Seunghyun raised his voice, only lowering it when he realized people were staring and Jiyong was crying. 

"What the fuck is going on??"

The ex couple looked over to see youngbae heading their way, having been told about the commotion by one of their regulars. 

"Bae-ah," Jiyong mumbled, wiping his eyes. "Nothing he was just leaving.."

"Why were you telling him that shit? What you can't stand to see him happy after you broke him??" Youngbae snapped at Seunghyun who was shocked at this shorter guys rage. 

"I didn't do anything to him!" He denied. 

"You're an idiot if you can look at that face and not see how much you've broken it." 

Seunghyun looked over to Jiyong and frowned, seeing the youngest boy's heart broken eyes as he was brought back to the time they spent together. He really did break his boyfriend. "I..im sorry Ji." He said simply, now really feeling like crap as he shook his head a little. "I won't come back, I won't bother you guys again. I promise.."  
He quickly fled the scene, intending on keeping this promise and he did. 

The black haired art enthusiast remained to himself, wallowing in his own misery over his ex for quite a while before he began to see other people again. Even then, he still frequently checked up on what Jiyong was doing. His ex was so happy, constantly posting about his boyfriend and their group of friends. He hated how he'd treated his ex boyfriend and he hated how much he'd missed the younger goof. When it came down to it, he was the one born to meet Jiyong. His heart was dyed blue,grey, dull now that all the color Jiyong he brought was gone. Seunghyun knew he couldn't take it back but he knew he could change and be better for the next love of his life. Until then, he remains blue.


End file.
